Horrible Kids’ Gift Ideas

Holiday Free-For-All Month continues here at OPF.  (I’m trying it out lol.)  I have been surfing Amazon.com and other sites for gifts for my nieces and nephews  (and myself, heh.)  I’ve also, for fun, gone on some tangents searching for horrible things to get kids, any kids, this holiday season.

CREEPY CUDDLERS ZOMBIE PLUSH FIGURE: “Death Mittens”.  Hey, kids, remember how Fluffy got hit by that car and you never got to see her again because she was something the local teenagers referred to as “highway pizza”?  Well, this is a plush version of what she looked like. In case you were curious.  I do have to admit though- we had a cat named Mittens. And he was super creepy.

Steffi Can’t Come Out To Play    This is a Young Adult novel. If you look at the cover, you can pretty much tell what it’s about. If you’re worried about your kid becoming a hooker and/or  wearing 1920s flapper costumes, this book is a must-have. Who came up with this title, by the way? In fact, isn’t the whole point that Steffi can and does “come out to play?”.  I guess it’s a testimony to innocence lost. I don’t know how they missed turning this into an After School Special. 

How To Draw The Life And Times Of  James A. Garfield    If you’re interested in picking up a copy of this book for your child, I suggest doing it fast because I’m sure there will be a big rush. Kids are into nothing if not drawing scenes from the life of an obscure 19th century president. What I find most compelling about this item is finding out what the last “draw this” images are, given the way Garfield’s term ended…. (Companion gift:  Wheat    Here’s an awesome book to get your kid for Christmas if you want your kid to hate you.)

 Le Robot De Satan    Obviously, the best thing about this book is that it’s in French. That, and there is no description of what it’s about, and no English version.  And it’s about robots of Satan.

 Here, look this one up on your own. You won’t believe it. lol

WWII Chess Set.  It’s fun to let kids contemplate alternative histories where sometimes the Nazis win.  And what Christmas is complete without a game where the piece have swastikas on them?

Just a bit of holiday silliness.


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